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| Juliann, Tate, Ryder, Gerry, Lucy, Shiloh, and Choice |
Today was a beautiful Arizona day and we were blessed to share it with two equally beautiful people. Gerry and Lucy, husband and wife, have held a special place in our hearts for two years. They have a unique and powerful way of serving others. We received a thoughtful letter and gift from them after Andrew's passing. That in and of itself made an impression on our hearts and a difference in our situation at home. However, we did not know at that time that our relationship with Gerry and Lucy was far from over. In fact, it had only just begun.
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| Tate, Ryder, Gerry, Lucy, Shiloh, and Choice |
When the dreadful first holidays rolled around in 2013, I was afraid of the loneliness and emptiness that we'd feel without Andrew. Although the void was very real and the sorrow palpable, we were not alone nor empty. Gerry and Lucy made sure that we knew we were thought of on every holiday...even sending wonderful gifts to ensure that we would have a Thanksgiving turkey on our table and a present for each child under the tree at Christmas. It was a sweet blessing to have multiple Christmas cards arrive in our mailbox from friends of theirs, beginning with, "Gerry and Lucy are friends of ours and suggested we reach out to you..." They embody our newly adopted creed...SPREAD THE BETTER.
They welcomed us into their home in Scottsdale and my kids were mesmerized by the breathtaking views and crystal clear swimming pool in their backyard. Their home was so lovely that I was careful to keep a close eye on my children so they wouldn't break anything. After tiptoeing out to the back patio after using the restroom, I found my kids, not nearly as concerned with formality as their mother. Oh no! All four of my kids were in the pool, FULLY CLOTHED.
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| Shiloh, Tate, Choice, Juliann |
I'm not sure why I was so surprised, I must admit I was tempted to do the same thing. The beauty in all of it was the understanding and gentle disposition exhibited by Lucy and Gerry. They smiled and splashed with the kids until everyone was footloose and fancy free...yes, even me. Sweet Lucy got knee deep in the water with the kids while Gerry took some time to chat with me about his connection to our loss and what conjured up the whirlwind of memories for him when hearing of our family's story. He too was a child who suffered the loss of a parent at a young age. When Gerry was just 3 years old, his father passed away. He shared with me his recollection of the struggles he and his mother went through in the years following the death of his father. I found comfort in the fact that he had several memories from that time period, as I've often wondered if my children would be too young to remember their Daddy. Yet, he described the sting of death that anyone who experiences a loss can relate to. There are no short cuts with grief. It is impossible to skip over the difficulty of the situation. The only possibility is to endure, however well you can, the circumstances and pray for the day that you smile before you cry at the mention of your lost loved one's name. The inspirational life that Gerry has lead despite his heartbreaking beginning, gives a bright hope to the future that is possible for my children.
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Lucy, Tate, Shiloh, and Ryder
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| Tate, Choice, Shiloh, Juliann, Gerry, and Ryder |
It took some creative bribery to get the kids out of the pool and onto the pavement to dry off. Thankfully they were very anxious to give Gerry and Lucy their Be Better Bands and Spread the Better shirts we brought for them. In addition, the kids had each made personalized cards for them to show their appreciation.
We made our way over to a nearby club house. It was fun to see what a day in their life was like. You can imagine the expressions of astonishment on the kids faces when they were invited to hop on golf carts and ride around the golf course with Gerry and Lucy. Or my astonishment when they recommended that I drive one too. Had they observed my driving prior to making the offer, they may have reconsidered. It is vastly different than driving a 40 foot bus.
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| Ryder and Gerry |
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| Shiloh and Lucy |
We had a late lunch at the clubhouse allowing for a wonderful conversation. We learned of Lucy's miraculous recovery after an accident leaving her with a 1% chance of survival. We learned from her as she talked about the struggles she has overcome and how precious the gift of life truly is. Gerry shared with us lessons that his mother taught him throughout their journey of creating a life after loss. Gerry went on to become an award winning author for his novels,
Legacy of the Gray Ghost, and
Mosby's Raiders Return. (visit his website at
www.gerryazimmerman.com).
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| Gerry, Shiloh, Ryder, Lucy, Tate, and Choice |
We finished our lunch and wrapped up our afternoon with Gerry and Lucy at the Renegade Golf Course. We left after exchanging hugs and many thanks for the strength they've given our family over the past couple of years. They gave us another incredible gift. Gerry and Lucy compiled a book of their lives and gave us a copy. What an absolute treasure! Upon saying goodbye to them and driving away, I immediately began flipping through their book. I was moved to tears by the photos of them and their family throughout the many decades, as well as a collection of life's lessons they've learned throughout their journey.
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| Gerry, Lucy, Ryder, Shiloh, Tate, Morghen, Choice, and Juliann |
I hope they don't mind me sharing some of their family's inspirational words of wisdom found in their book.
1. To waste time is to waste LIFE, but to master time is to master your life.
2. Never cling to the past and make the most out of today.
3. Decide what takes priority and then do it.
4. Sometimes we can accomplish more by doing nothing, so don't forget to...Relax, Read, Play & Think.
5. Get out your dictionary and learn a new word each day.
6. Make sleep work for you. Pose a question to yourself as you go to sleep. Sleep on it and when you wake up the next morning, you might discover the answer to it.
7. Make a "To Do List" every day. Organize it in order of importance and go to work on it.
8. Don't let the fear of making a change slow you down. Some risks are necessary in life. Change is either a threat or an opportunity depending upon your attitude.
9. Focus on things that offer long term vs. short term benefits.
10. Make notes and put your ideas down on paper.
11. Use specialists to handle special problems. Don't do it alone.
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| Lucy, Gerry, and Juliann |
Shortly after leaving their home this afternoon, I received another encouraging message from Gerry and Lucy...
"Keep that positive attitude and it will rub off on the kids and everyone will be a winner in their lives because of it. If there was ever a magic word....it is ATTITUDE. Good things happen to people with positive attitudes and bad things happen to people with negative attitudes, but they aren't surprised, since they expected the bad things to come their way. Often in life, when something seems like an event that would be impossible to overcome, losers suck their thumbs and cry and say "Why me?" Winners say, "I may be down now, but I'm not out until I give up and I'm going to keep on fighting." I know you are a WINNER and a wonderful woman. Love and God Bless you and your children."
What an honor it was to share the day with such humble, motivational, and stalwart people, whom I consider dear friends. We would do well to put into practice their words of wisdom and adopt their example of serving those around us. Gerry and Lucy's heroism in overcoming life's difficult challenges will be a model for how I teach my children to approach their road ahead. God bless you sweet Lucy. And God bless you Gerry...I know your father and the father of my children both looked upon our meeting today with joy.
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